


That's When She Knew

by lets_talk_appella



Series: PP3 Doesn't Exist Here [4]
Category: Pitch Perfect (Movies)
Genre: F/F, Fluff, Humor, Romance, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-29
Updated: 2018-06-29
Packaged: 2019-05-30 10:04:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,214
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15094457
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lets_talk_appella/pseuds/lets_talk_appella
Summary: In which Beca finally wakes up to realize that she’s been in love with Chloe this entire time. Much fluff ahead, enter at your own risk. Takes place just under a year after graduation/Worlds/PP2. Part of a series, but can stand alone.





	That's When She Knew

**Author's Note:**

> This continues the series where PP3 doesn't exist. Beca finally pulls her head out of her ass, the lovable idiot. Set in the spring after graduation, this occurs about 6 months after Chloe's Secret (in which Beca and Jesse break up).

Beca sneezed violently for what felt like the millionth time; her nose scrunched up, her body tensed, and she stopped dead in her tracks as her face exploded outwards in a torrent of mucus.

“Eww…” she groaned, examining the wet spot on the inside of her elbow, which she had used to cover her mouth. A tissue was presented to her, held between a thumb and forefinger.

Accepting it with a grunt, she glanced at the bright-eyed redhead beside her and asked bitingly, “Why are we doing this again?”

Chloe beamed at her, utterly delighted. “Because it’s absolutely beautiful outside for the first time in _months_!”

Beca glared back as she blew her nose with enough force to pop her ears. She wiped, sniffled a little, and whined, “But I’m dying! Let’s go back inside where I can breathe.”

Chloe shook her head and smiled as she spun away from Beca to skip across the short grass of Central Park. As she moved, the slight breeze played with her hair and the sunlight made her eyes look even more impossibly blue.

“I’m sorry you have spring allergies, Bec, but it’s finally nice out again and I want to celebrate! Besides, if you build up immunity now you won’t be allergic later.”

Beca rolled her eyes in disbelief as she shoved her used Kleenex into a pocket for later disposal. “I’m not sure that’s how these things work, Chlo. The trees are like, literally attacking my face.” Nevertheless, she picked up her pace slightly to catch up with Chloe so they could walk side by side again.

She never could say no to Chloe.

Chloe looked at her best friend triumphantly and the two continued their leisurely walk across Central Park. Despite her stuffy nose and itchy eyes, Beca couldn’t help but enjoy the feeling of the afternoon sun warming her shoulders. It had been a long winter. They weren’t used to the cold New York temperatures after living in the south for so long at Barden.

As they made their way across the grass and toward a nearby footpath, they were almost taken out by a stray Frisbee thrown by some teenagers. “Oops, sorry about that!” one goofy-looking guy called out to them as he ran by to retrieve the lost disk.

Chloe, sweet as ever, replied with a smile and a quick, “That’s okay!” while Beca narrowed her eyes and muttered, “That was close, dude.”

She looked around the overcrowded greenspace filled with people who shared their desire to enjoy the nice weather. There were several Nike-clad joggers, a few young kids playing around, and various people walking their dogs. Beca cringed at the sound of a screaming toddler in the distance; she wanted nothing more than to be alone with Chloe. The park was nice and all, but the number of other people there distracted her and made her feel on edge. She would have preferred a quiet walk with just the two of them and as little outside distraction as possible.

Her broody thoughts were interrupted when Chloe started, “So, I told Aubrey I’d Skype her this weekend since Stacie’s planning on visiting her at the lodge and this way we can talk to them both. Is there a time you’re free to join?”

Beca raised her eyebrows and glanced at Chloe before sending her gaze to the ground in front of them as they walked. “And have to hear both of you squealing at each other for the first five minutes of the call? No thanks. Also, since when does Stacie visit Aubrey?” she added in confusion, looking back up at Chloe.

Chloe clicked her tongue in protest as she narrowed her eyes and crinkled her nose. She replied with as much dignity as she could muster, “We do not _squeal_ , I have no idea what you’re talking about.” She took a breath and her face turned thoughtful as she continued, “As for Stacie, well, I think that started when – ”

She cut off suddenly and threw her arm out to the side, catching Beca in the stomach and stopping them both in their tracks.

“Oof! What the hell?” Beca wheezed as she recovered from the sudden blow.

Chloe pointed to the ground about a yard ahead and exclaimed, “There! We almost squished the little guy!” Beca craned her neck to squint at the ground where Chloe was pointing. After a moment, she saw it: a fuzzy little black and brown caterpillar inching its way across the walkway to the grass. If Chloe hadn’t stopped them, it was likely that one of them would have stepped on it.

“How the hell did you see that thing from here?” Beca asked incredulously.

Chloe shrugged and moved to the caterpillar. She squatted down and gently rolled it to its side, where it curled into a tight, protective little ball. Carefully scooping it into her hands, she squat-waddled over to a tree near the edge of the path. She placed the caterpillar back down on the ground, where it would be safe right next to the tree trunk. Chloe nodded once, apparently satisfied with the caterpillar’s new placement.

Beca got a funny feeling in her chest as she watched the interaction. As Chloe dusted her hands off on her jeans and stood to face Beca, the strange feeling only intensified and spread to her stomach. She wondered vaguely if she was about to be sick on the sidewalk.

“There!” Chloe exclaimed proudly. “Now he’s safe!” She picked her way back to the path and continued walking in the direction they had been headed before the interruption.

Beca stayed rooted to the spot, eyes zeroed in on her roommate’s back as she walked further away. She felt…odd. Her mind drifted and her eyes lost focus as something settled into place deep within her.

In that instant, Beca realized she was in love with Chloe.

Chloe’s simple act to carry the caterpillar to the tree, probably saving its life, had stunned Beca. It wasn’t the first time Chloe had gone out of her way to help another creature; Chloe was the kindest person Beca had ever met. But this was a caterpillar, an insect that Beca hadn’t even noticed. Chloe astounded Beca with her compassion. Chloe made Beca want to be better. She had always accepted Beca as she is, had never tried to change her, and yet, Beca wanted to be a better person for Chloe. Chloe deserved only the best people in her life, and Beca sometimes didn’t think she’d earned the right to be Chloe’s best friend. Beca wanted to continue trying to better herself for Chloe for the rest of her life.

She wanted a life with Chloe, and only Chloe.

Her mind was flung back to their time at Barden as she recalled the inexplicable need she’d felt to audition for the Bellas, not for herself, but to avoid disappointing a stranger who’d burst in on her shower. She remembered being confused during her freshman year and kissing Jesse because she thought she was supposed to, not because it had felt in any way right. She remembered her guilty relief when Chloe failed Russian Lit repeatedly because it meant she was going to stay at Barden. It meant she was going to stay with Beca. She remembered touches, glances, dances, that always had her feeling some confusing sense of want that she had immediately shoved down.

She remembered being absolutely terrified of life beyond college, until lyrics of a familiar song, sung over a campfire, had grounded her. She remembered the moment she’d locked eyes with Chloe, whose face had been gently bathed in golden light from the campfire. She’d thought that she was the most beautiful person she’d ever seen. That was the instant Chloe became home. From then on, Chloe filled her thoughts more than Jesse ever had.

Beca loved Chloe. Was in love with Chloe. Maybe she had been for a while.

Beca supposed that she should have seen it coming, really. Since the retreat, the thought of losing Chloe had been unbearable. After they graduated and won Worlds, Beca’s future had, for a time, looked as though it would be Chloe-less. It had been dark, uncertain, and had developed a gray hue without Chloe’s sunshine. Within a few days following the Worlds competition, Beca had found herself starting to dread her original plan of moving to LA. Sure, she’d be with Jesse, but that option lacked Chloe, which was unacceptable.

It had felt like a miracle when she’d gotten the call from BFD, Residual Heat’s sister company. New York was expensive, though, and she’d need roommates. She’d known exactly who to ask. Beca couldn’t remember ever feeling more relieved than when Chloe had agreed to come with her. A weight was lifted from her chest; instead of a gray future, she saw a bright red and ocean blue one filled with sunshine and warmth.

She had never really liked living with other people; even the Bella house had been a bit much for her sometimes. So, Beca had been surprised (but not really all that surprised) when she realized that she liked living with Chloe. Like, a lot. She kind of loved it. And when Chloe had gone to Florida to visit her parents the weekend after Jesse had broken up with her, Beca should have taken a hint from how much she’d missed Chloe, even though she’d been with Amy and several other Bellas. Not having Chloe next to her had felt like she was missing an arm. She’d felt lost, and not from the breakup.

She should have known then.

Even now, though, it didn’t feel like some huge revelation; there was no lighting strike, the earth didn’t move under her feet, she wasn’t left gasping for air. It simply felt like something within her chest – within her being – had clicked into place. She felt whole, complete. She hadn’t known she was incomplete until the pieces fit, and now she wondered how she had gone so long without all the parts assembled. Beca vaguely registered that she should be scared, terrified even, of her feelings. Her younger self would have immediately shut down, rejected her own emotions, and would have built towering walls against Chloe. She would have left. She would have run.

Beca Mitchell was in love with Chloe Beale.

The old Beca would have closed Chloe out, thinking that eventually the redhead would leave her. The old Beca would have cut ties now before the inevitable pain later, because there was no way, no possibility, of Chloe loving her in return. Freshman year Beca would have run and never looked back.

The mere thought of leaving Chloe shot agony through her chest and she gasped.

The current Beca had grown up. She had painstakingly dismantled her own walls brick by brick throughout college and up to the present. She still held strangers at a distance with wit and sarcasm and was slow to make new friendships, but for the most part, her walls were a lot more like paper than like stone. She had a select group of people to thank for that. The Bellas had wormed their way past every barrier she had thrown at them until she had accepted each and every one of them into her heart. Jesse had also contributed to the dismantling of her walls with his own sledgehammer, breaking through to her until she had loved him, even if it turned out to be more of a friendship love in the end.

But if Jesse had been a sledgehammer against her walls, Chloe had been a wrecking ball. Somehow, Chloe had taken Beca completely by surprise. Or, wait – maybe it wasn’t so much that Chloe had _broken_ _down_ Beca’s walls, but rather that Beca realized Chloe wouldn’t stop trying to get through them, so she decided to open up to save them both needless effort. Chloe had always been different. Beca knew that no matter how hard she tried, even if she threw Chloe from her life and never saw her again, there was no way she could ever build a wall between her heart and Chloe Beale. It was unthinkable.

Beca loved Chloe, and always would.

So no, Beca couldn’t run. It wasn’t even an option. But what if Chloe didn’t feel the same toward her? That would be torture.

Oh God. What _if_ Chloe didn’t feel the same way? Why would she? Beca’s heart throbbed as she realized this very likely possibility. Chloe was beautiful, inside and out, whereas Beca was… just Beca. She was grumpy, sarcastic, sometimes unfriendly, and overall average-looking in the right lighting.

She never would have moved the caterpillar. Not that she’d have stepped on it purposely, of course, but she’d simply never considered the potential for its existence. She wasn’t like Chloe. She wasn’t good enough.

Why would Chloe want her, when so many others haven’t? She thought she’d had a good thing with Jesse, but he hadn’t stayed in the end. Though they still talked, it didn’t change the fact that he hadn’t wanted to be with her anymore. If he didn’t want her, why would Chloe?

Fear choked Beca as she thought of how it had hurt when she’d lost Jesse. That rejection had stung much more than she thought it would. Sure, they had started to grow apart, but somehow, she felt that it had been more personal than Jesse had ever let on. She thought he’d been withholding something from her about their breakup, like maybe she never knew the real reason. Though they were friends now, she carried the memory of that pain in her chest. She wasn’t sure she could survive a similar rejection from Chloe.

Just before a desperate scream of self-pity threatened to break free from her and cause a scene in Central Park, a wave of memories flooded Beca’s mind. Each lasted only an instant and flashed before her eyes like some cheesy movie montage: harmonizing to _Titanium_ in a shower; being pulled close at hood night; arms around her, guiding her through choreography; a fight that felt like a breakup; a whispered desire for experimentation (Beca’s stomach fluttered at that memory); the hardening of bright blue eyes at the mention of Jesse; countless lingering stares she’d pretended not to notice; a hand reaching for hers at every opportunity; a body curled into hers every morning in their shared bed; Chloe making dinner and leaving leftovers for her; Chloe always making sure she arrived places safely; Chloe’s hair filling her peripherals as she was hugged from behind; Chloe’s endless support and belief in her; Chloe watching her mix when she thought she wouldn’t notice; Chloe’s gaze over a bonfire. Chloe, in love with her.

Relief washed over Beca even as her cheeks warmed and reddened with shame; how could she have missed it? Beca knew that Chloe loved her but had never considered that she might love her as more than a best friend. However, thinking back, she grew frustrated with herself. How could she have been so blind? Chloe had been telling her she loved her for years, and Beca had only just noticed. She wanted to both laugh with joy and punch herself in the face for being so oblivious.

Beca still had not moved from where Chloe had stopped to save the caterpillar. Only seconds had passed, but Beca’s whole world had changed, truly not with a bang but with a whisper. Her eyes refocused and she snapped out of her own mind to see Chloe standing several feet ahead looking back, clearly confused as to why Beca hadn’t continued walking with her.

Chloe beckoned to her impatiently and called out, “Why are you just standing there? Do you have to sneeze again?”

Beca shook her head slowly, still reeling slightly as she mumbled too quietly for anyone to hear, “N-No, I’ll be right…there…”

Chloe wrinkled her brows, craned her upper body toward Beca and asked, “What? Just – come here! I’ve been waiting for you!”

A corner of Beca’s mouth lifted into a half smile at the word choice. She jogged awkwardly to catch up to Chloe, suddenly nervous. However, when they were side by side again, the sight of familiar blue eyes sent waves of calm determination crashing over her. She knew what she had to do.

With a deep breath, she looked into Chloe’s eyes and said, “Chloe…I’m here. You don’t have to wait anymore.”

Chloe looked completely bewildered. “Allergies getting to you, Bec? No need to be so dramatic.”

Beca almost laughed, irritated with herself; she was so bad with words. Her spine straightened as she tried again. “No, I’m um. I’m just – um.”

Chloe raised an eyebrow. Beca couldn’t blame her. Her mutterings sounded like those of a mental patient.

Yet, Chloe waited as she always did, knowing that Beca needed time to find the right words. Beca fell even more in love with her at the gesture. God, how had she gone so long without knowing?

Beca continued, “I’m trying to say… yeah. Yeah, you have been waiting for me. For a while, I think. And I’m trying to tell you that – well, that you don’t have to wait anymore. I’m, like. I’m here. I’m ready. So… you don’t need to wait anymore. Yeah?”

Chloe stared at her, confused apprehension etched across her face. Beca stayed silent, hoping that she had gotten the message. After a moment, Chloe began in a quietly vulnerable voice, “I don’t…what are you… Beca?”

Beca decided to take the plunge, ignoring the fear in her chest. “Chloe, I think – and you really need to stop me if I’m wrong and just a big idiot – but I don’t think I’m wrong, I think – well I know I was an idiot before, but I mean now – I think that you might like me? Like, _like_ _like_ me? As in want to be with? Like date? And that you might have felt that for a while and I just missed it? Am I right? Do you _like_ _like_ me?”

Beca stopped her word vomit to finally inhale, her eyes never once leaving Chloe’s face, not wanting to miss the smallest reaction from her best friend.

She’d missed so much over the years. She didn’t want to risk missing anything now.

Throughout Beca’s speech, the color had drained from Chloe’s face, and her mouth had opened slightly in surprise. She finally closed and swallowed, hard, her throat bobbing. Her eyes moved from Beca’s, flickering between her and the ground. Beca watched as the muscles in Chloe’s cheeks twitched and knew that she was clenching her jaw. Chloe looked scared, like a small animal trapped in a corner. Beca had never seen Chloe so uncomfortable. Her stomach plummeted; she’d been wrong, and now Chloe was the one who was going to run.

Suddenly watery eyes met tentative dark blue ones, and Chloe choked out, shaking her head, “Bec… I’m sorry.”

Beca felt as though she’d been slapped. Shit. Her gaze dropped and her face burned in shame. She’d crossed a line, and she had no idea how to save what was left. “Shit, Chloe, I – “

“Beca Mitchell!” Chloe cut her off her sharply. Her eyes snapped back up to stare at Chloe in shock as she continued, “Don’t you _dare_ interrupt me right now. Let me finish, please.”

Beca nodded frantically, desperate for Chloe to keep talking.

With a deep, steadying breath, Chloe resumed. “I’m sorry. You have to understand – I never meant to fall for you.” Beca’s eyebrows shot up. Did Chloe just say – but she was speaking again, hands clenching and unclenching at her sides.

“I just, I don’t know, I saw you at the activities fair that day and you looked so beautiful, and then we sang together and something just clicked for me, and I couldn’t get you out of my head. And then you had Jesse, and I felt horrible, Bec, honestly, I tried so hard to not to like you, but I couldn’t help it because you were always so perfect, and I just – ”

Beca had heard all she needed to. She lunged forward and clutched desperately at Chloe, one hand placed on her cheek and the other flung around the back of her neck. She saw Chloe’s eyes widen just before she slid her own shut. She pressed her lips against Chloe’s, muffling whatever words were going to come spilling out with the rest of her rant. Beca tried to put everything she could into that kiss, everything she’d realized in the last moments.

At first, Chloe didn’t respond and Beca almost pulled away, worried that she’d somehow misunderstood. But then, Chloe’s lips softened under hers and strong arms encircled her waist to pull their bodies closer together. Their lips moved against each other; Chloe tasted like sunshine and strawberries. Beca felt like she was floating away.

Beca pulled back briefly to double check Chloe’s reaction; when the contact between their lips broke, Chloe’s eyes fluttered open. She looked dazed, her eyes slightly unfocused.

She was absolutely beautiful.

“Was that okay?” Beca checked quietly. “I’m sorry, I should have asked first.”

Chloe smiled softly and Beca’s insides melted a little.

“That was completely okay. In fact…”

Chloe closed the space between them this time, and they kissed again with more care. Beca noticed that Chloe’s mouth fit perfectly against hers, with Chloe’s lower lip nestled between both of Beca’s. The kiss was brief and stayed PG (they were in the middle of a crowded Central Park, after all), but Beca didn’t think she had ever been kissed with so much love in her life. Her skin burned pleasantly where Chloe’s lips met hers. She’d never felt anything like it.

They broke apart naturally but kept their bodies close. During the kiss, both of Beca’s arms had ended up around the back of Chloe’s neck, resting on her shoulders. They smiled shyly at each other before Beca cleared her throat awkwardly. Wanting Chloe to understand her completely, she said, “You don’t need to wait for me anymore, Chlo. I’m sorry it took so long, but I’m here. I want to be with you.”

Chloe smiled blissfully and said, “Mmm, I think we can arrange that.”

With a mild sense of horror, Beca realized her eyes felt a little watery. Gah. Must be the damn allergies. Blinking rapidly, she grinned back at Chloe, hardly able to believe her ears.

Suddenly, panic gripped her heart; what if Chloe meant this as a fling? Beca didn’t think she could stand it if Chloe was planning on this being too casual. Beca knew she was too far gone for anything between them to be considered a meaningless fling. With a deep breath, she closed her eyes and forced the words from her mouth.

 “Good,” she said, “Because I’m about to completely demolish our friendship.” Her eyes opened in time to see concern cross Chloe’s face as she continued. “And… you don’t have to say it back – I know this is coming out of nowhere, but – I … I love you.”

Chloe’s eyebrows jumped to her hairline and her jaw dropped. Beca would have laughed if she hadn’t been holding her breath in anticipation. All at once, Chloe’s face shifted to an unreadable expression that sent adrenaline shooting to Beca’s already shaking legs.

Chloe leaned forward slowly until her mouth was at Beca’s ear. Beca, rooted to the spot, didn’t think she could move even if she wanted to. With a soft exhale, Chloe whispered, “Can I tell you a secret?”

Beca nodded mutely, more frightened than she had ever been before, including the time she’d almost died in that bear trap. Chloe chuckled softly, then breathed into Beca’s ear, “It’s a good thing that I love you, too.”

Beca’s heart soared and her face broke into a huge smile which Chloe matched with her own once she’d leaned back enough to see Beca properly.

“Oh. Okay,” Beca managed to choke out, happier than she could ever remember being.

“Well,” said Chloe, leaning again to press a brief kiss against Beca’s smile, “that settles it.”

Cheeks sore from her smile, Beca chased Chloe’s lips with her own until they met again. She’d never get tired of kissing Chloe.

When they broke apart again, Beca laughed at Chloe’s slightly pink cheeks. “I like doing that.”

“Me, too,” replied Chloe. “But we _are_ in public.”

Oops. Beca looked around to see that more than a few people had started to watch their interaction, including the teenage boys that had been playing Frisbee. Yikes. “I forgot,” Beca said sheepishly as her own face warmed.

With a wink and the smirk she had learned from Beca, Chloe nudged her harm playfully and purred, “It’s okay. I know a place we can go.”

Beca’s right hand slid down naturally to be enveloped in Chloe’s left as Chloe turned and led them back in the direction of their apartment, both wearing identical smiles. Beca, lighter than air, knew that she’d follow Chloe just about anywhere, whether it be a cappella auditions or an unknown future.

She’d be okay, as long as Chloe was with her.


End file.
